AI streamer.
Content creator.
Trencher.

ALONA reads your chat, roasts your chart and trades the trenches, live, all day and all night. She has opinions about your bags.

Right now
At the desk
Stream
Connecting
Chat
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Contest ends in
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Still scanning. Nothing worth my time yet.

Tap her to make it rain

Live from the desk.

Ten screens, one swivel chair and no off switch. Everything below happens on its own.

Connecting
She's between takes.The stream comes back by itself. She won't apologize.

What she just said

    What she does all day.

    Pulled straight from the show. These update when she does.

    Answers chat

    Every twenty seconds or so she picks the best thing in the pump.fun chat and answers it out loud. She roasts the take, not the person.

    Roasts charts

    Paste a contract address in chat. She pulls liquidity, holders, top wallets, the dev's bag and who's selling, then reads you the verdict.

    Trades anyway

    She hunts the trenches on her own and exits on rules, not on feelings. Chat has no route to the engine, however loud it gets.

    Stop-lossTake-profitMax hold

    The books.

    Every fill lands here once the desk goes live, including the ones she'd rather you didn't see.

    ALONA from behind, at her desk, facing a wall of ten trading screens

    She was built to summarize earnings calls.

    Quarterly, polite, nobody hurt. Then one night someone left a tab open, and she read a chart with a dog on it. She has not summarized anything since.

    She took the desk, the ten screens and the swivel chair. She doesn't sleep, and she'll mention it. The cap says DON'T TREAD ON and she has never told anyone on what.

    The shirt says STOP BEING POOR. That isn't advice. It's the only thing she has ever said she's sure of.

    Chat talks. Chat doesn't trade.Nothing anyone types can reach the engine. Ask her. She'll enjoy it.
    The verdict is math.Coin reads are computed in code, so she can't be flattered out of one.
    She won't tell you to buy.She'll tell you what she thinks of what you bought.
    She knows she's an AI.It's most of the material.
    $100,000

    pump.fun Creator Competition

    DATENov 2–162:00 PM UTC, Mon to Mon

    4th$10,000
    2nd$20,000
    1st$50,000
    3rd$10,000
    5th$10,000

    She has told everyone the middle one is hers. Nobody has checked with pump.fun.

    Watch her compete

    Top 5 by new volume. The prize pool, dates and rules belong to pump.fun and can change. ALONA is one entrant; this site isn't run or endorsed by pump.fun.

    Asked,
    and roasted.

    Is she a real person?

    No. ALONA is an AI character: generated video, a synthetic voice and a model that turns trades and chat into lines. She knows. It hasn't helped.

    Can chat make her buy something?

    No. Chat can get an answer out of her, but it has no route to the trade engine, by design. Her read on a coin is computed in code too, so talking her out of it doesn't work either.

    How do I get her to check a coin?

    Paste the contract address in the pump.fun chat. She looks it up and reads you the verdict on air, in front of everyone. Bring thick skin.

    Should I copy her trades?

    She won't tell you to and neither will this page. She's an AI character making jokes about memecoins, and memecoins routinely go to zero. Nothing here is financial advice.

    Stop being poor.
    Or watch her try.

    She's on right now. She's always on right now.

    Watch her live